The Power of Public Shaming

The mountains care not about our feelings.

The Power of Public Shaming

It was a year after I participated in a seven fatality avalanche that I found myself in front of a group of Canadian Avalanche Association students and their instructors. It was my very first presentation on the mechanics and my initial understanding of the social dynamics that led to the La Traviata avalanche. I was jittery, and on the verge of tears the whole time.

It must have been painful to watch for all kinds of reasons. Kudos to the CAA and the course leader for allowing this to happen. I was a hot mess. It took everything I had to be up there facing the music with my peers. At the end of the presentation I tentatively asked if there were any questions. From the very back of the room Mark Klassen posed this; (I paraphrase) ‘It seemed pretty clear to me as the season was shaping up that we were going to experience a difficult snowpack, given all of the obvious indications of deep instabilities, why did you go there?’

Searing pain landed in every cell of my body as I stood in front the group of 20 or more. I was responsible for people dying and the agony of the question in that moment felt impossible to bear. I did not have an answer and I stood at the apex of the room with nowhere to hide. To this day I can still see the pattern of the carpet in my mind’s eye.

Mark was being honest. It was the obvious question to ask. At the time it landed for me as impossibly cruel. That is my stuff. It was the most truthful question to ask and kudos to him for tabling what was on everyones mind. In those situations, having an elephant in the room, helps no person. Today, I recognize that no one could or should protect me from the truth. Marks question was the start of my healing.

The writing of Buried, the interviews, the podcasts and the blogs I have done, all find their roots in that question. The query rang so true that I needed to answer it by going deep within. It led me on a journey of a lifetime that I would not trade for anything because it helped me become a strong resilient and fierce advocate for industry learning. Today, no person can ask me anything about the events of 2003 that can rattle me. The truth is that we were behaving like idiots. I know that now and I owe all of it to Mark. He almost killed me, but the most compassionate thing in the long run was to ask a question so rooted in truth. To the credit of my spirit, I have put all of my life force energy and my personal resources into answering it. I have done that, without any shadow of a doubt. I will go to my grave without any regrets.

If there is an archetype that guides and avalanche professionals fall under it must be the warrior. What we do is of real consequence, so we must be people of consequence in kind. The true warrior’s path is to go inside to find the answers to the questions we face. Because of Mark, and my own inner warrior, I have done this work in spades. His question spurred me to create a different path where there was only alcoholism and death before me. Today I teach what I have learned and have created something for others to follow, not only in the prevention of avalanche involvements, but in how we respond to them. None of my work is academic, all of it is self evident.

Today I ask the hard questions of the guiding and avalanche industry. Some hate me for it. Some believe I am cruel. Perhaps I have been at times out of the pure frustration of not being understood. How others respond to the questions I ask is their business. I recognize now that I am powerless to effect change within the hearts of others. All I can do is encourage all those who work in the snow to be warriors. Leading others to their demise in avalanche terrain in my view is the ultimate in public shaming. . That is the truth of the work we do. Nothing anyone can say is worse than this. But the warrior finds the answers to hard questions inside themselves. That work can be done before any snow slides, and before people die. That takes true courage.

Shame is the resistance we need to make ourselves stronger. Be grateful for it and you will become the fierce warrior that you were born to be.

For more information about being a snow warrior visit archetypal.ca